If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
