Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
