Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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