yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
