sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
