We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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