I bet he comes in French.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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