How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
