I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
