you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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