ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
The cops high fived after they tackled you
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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