Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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