She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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