Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
