eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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