I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
