so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
His nipple licking is glorious
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