you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
