lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
