I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
