I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
