And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Even my vagina gasped.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I was not drunk enough for that final.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
