physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
