wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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