YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i think i just lost a toe
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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