i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I would ride that face into the sunset
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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