The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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