Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
