I'm drive I can fine osifer
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
