I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Randomize
