I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
