His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize