Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
