she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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