why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she pinky promised me she was 18
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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