you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
