you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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