And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
