I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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