I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize