i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
