Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize