its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
