you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
