can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
did i walk over a car last night?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize