my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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