oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
