ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You did what with his pubic hair?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
