ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
