I love black thongs
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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