Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Semen is not good for contacts.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
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