Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Duck Duck Cougar?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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