She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
