last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
