ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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