I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
