On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
