make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just pee around me
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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