I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
