did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
