Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
