i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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